POETRY BY SARA GORRELL BRENNER
Realities’ Deception
1. Before
stripped of every unique curve and every birthmark depicting
life’s umbilical cord of our mother’s mother
stripped layer by layer until destruction
I can only imagine
the air, the smell, the ground called earth
I can only wonder of the tears and the torture
staring in the mirrors blond hair decorates my face with two blue gems in between
a chicken pox scar embedded on the tip of my nose
I was taught to be me ,,
I can’t begin to comprehend hundreds of faces
all created from the same mold of hate
gray eyes upon rotten skin, dirt used for make-up
adding color to a wallcing ghost
and stories of nightmares made in heaven as each day they awoke in hell
I pray I will never have to face an empty mirror glass too intimidated to look back at me
g-d intended a balance of evil and benevolence
I want to stop and ask him why?
though in my heart I’m afraid of silence
2. (Untitled)
lost without comprehension
I’m still breathing in a field surrounded
by birds chirping sarcastically,
mocking my thoughts Hebrew words,
sounds of comfort in a world where
I’m still crying last words from mother
to her son the ground nurtured by nature
a bed for those passed before us
I sit on the earth,
an unwarranted grave
the soil saturated with the loss of life
a vacant field decorated with stones
and I am fortunate
I can hold your hand and remember.
3. Majdanek
from the inside, the horizon seems endless
birds echo melodies, as dogs bark
far from my walls
comprehension is a term left for those
who see through naive eyes
in search of you, I walk to understand myself
I saw your battered shoes mounds
piled to the ceiling and your clothes
neatly hung on hangers displayed as artifacts
your lives transformed into a museum of death
I stood where you felt can you forgive me?
today I journey in the footsteps of victims left to ash and tomorrow
as I return to the land of the living
I face a world observing me
uniquely dressed in your worn shoes and
your stripped clothing
with my own number
JEW
4. On Leaving Majdanek
through an entangled
web I peer out at freedom
numbness encloses me,
a tight embrace,
footsteps beyond barbed wire, the wind
whips the boy’s hair as his feet entangle
with the dog’s paws
ker-plop; in a chase,
they nonchalantly parade life
while I lay fathoming how to take the next step
did your father watch my father as I observe you now?
I’m trapped upon ashes, buried in crimes of silence
the boy’s legs carry him racing in circles
a childhood game, ashes ashes, we ALL fall down
5. After
here, we are lost in another
world wrapped up in a birthday
present fastened with a bow
how reality plays with our minds perhaps
I’ll never see your face again though I walked in your footsteps
searching to understand my future as I comprehended your past
somewhere someone in our family is crying why are our ears closed?
I have much to gain from my outside walls
knowledge spills at my feet,
calling for absorption life
becomes an open book
filled with unwritten
pages fluttering in the wind ‘
but can you catch them?
6. You .
Please remember my eyes
which never got to see a playground
and my arms which never
learned how to hang from a jungle gym
Please remember my legs
which were cheated
out of learning how to ride a bike
and my hair which I lost
as my flesh was tattooed
with inferiority
Remember my hands
oh so small
with the same life line
as my mother grasping
her hand in terror
as they shot my brother
Remember me because
I lived and I laughed and
because I can’t remember
how to feel
Remember
me because
I could have been
YOU.
7. Realities’ Deception
rain decorates my body
as g-d cries with me
the wind holds out no arms
and the sun is blinded with
deception though I’m alive,
hope smiles upside down
I saw death with my own eyes
barbed wire wrapped my heart
paralyzing my soul
what gives me the right to cry or laugh
a mirror image of selfishness
I’m one scattered in a million
pieces no one can comprehend that
until they walk through agony
breathless I am smothered under ash
pleasant dreams, why am I
the only one waking?
Sara Gorell, 16